I am feeling pretty good about parenting lately. I think I am staying well connected with both kids. Lots of hugs during the day. They dont really fight alot, or at least the fights are predictable and easily resolved...for now. They are 3 and 1 so the fights are pretty simple. They will probably begin to challenge me more soon.
Some tidbit from this morning where I think I recovered ok. On our morning walk Charlotte wanted to walk Oliver. But she was really slow and really distracted by rocks to climb etc...I just wanted her to walk fast because we had to get to school. I found myself getting super frustrated and sounding like a drill instructor! Walk faster! I put her back in the stroller but she really wanted to walk...so I just said Ok. I let us both try it again. This time i stayed alot calmer...this episode reminded me of returning to my book reading. Recenter myself.
Charlotte is loving Treehouse, and I really like the influence the teachers have on her. I think they do a great job focusing on peaceful conflict resolution. Again another reason to return to reading.
So just a quote that stuck with me tonight from Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings:
"No one likes to be controlled, so its not surprising that kids reject limits that arent empathic. When kids resist our limits, they see the control as outside themselves. As crazy as it sounds, they see it as YOUR job to stop them from attacking their siblings when they get angry, rather than as THEIR job to control themselves."
So yes i need to focus on talking to both girls about why they dont do things or behave a certain way in a more empathic way, instead of just dont do that or a punishment of some sort. Ive been leaning too heavily on bribes or restrictions lately.
Charlotte will be a tough one, but I should start now developing her empathy and internal decision making skills.
