I surfaced today from my ocean of nausea. I don't know how the stomach virus got into our house, I can only speculate, and self chastise about washing my hands more and not touching my face.
Stomach bugs, and all sorts of germs come with the parenting territory. I mean everyone gets sick, not just parents, but parents have little petri dishes running around the house brewing up whoppers of germs to unleash on your immune system.
This time my husband and I got sick at the same time, which hasn't happened before.
All I can say is thank goodness Halina my Mother in Law did not get sick and cared of the kids. What's worse than having a nasty bug? Having a nasty bug and still having to take care of children that need you all day long.
Anywhooo...I'm just going to write-off the last five days that I missed my blog. Before I forget I wanted to restate the purpose of my blog, mostly as a reminder to myself. I write my blog to reflect and create a physical practice of remaining present and committed to my goals as a Mom. I share my experiences as a way of holding myself accountable for the promises I've made to myself. I always welcome advice, but seeking advice is not the purpose of my blog. As every parent learns, at the end of the day, advice adds up to a hill of beans. The only thing that matters is your decisions for your children. No one can do it for you.
I am still reading Dr. Markham's book. I am into the 3rd section about how to emotion coach. I haven't really focused a lot of attention on it lately because I am not finding it relevant right now in my life. My kids are so young right now, and they are just a bundle of emotions. I dabble a little in asking Charlotte how she feels if she has a strong reaction to something, but it is not the major issue in my life. Right now my main focus is speaking directly and effectively to her so she knows what I expect.
This morning I had to remind Halina about how to talk with Charlotte. She was just repeating herself about leaving the house so many times that Charlotte stopped listening to her. I could see the frustration on my Mother in Law's face, so I thought I'd step in.
So we talked.
Repeating and not expecting anything from a kid just trains them to ignore you and do whatever they want. With Charlotte this is extra important because she is already a strong willed kid. I advised her to look her in the eye, say what you want once, and mean it, and only ask for her cooperation when you need it. So for example, get yourself ready to leave and then ask her to go sit in the stroller to leave. You can get her ready to leave...but tell her specifics...like I want you to come with me to your room to get dressed. She doesn't understand abstract ideas like...get ready to leave...what does that mean?
Halina appreciated the advice, but I its hard especially when you're the fun loving Babcia. I appreciate everyday how involved she is in their lives and committed to doing what is best for them.
The other major concern is the two girls interacting together. Whenever they play together, it usually ends within minutes, Maggie is crying, and Charlotte is confused or frustrated. Charlotte wants to grab her and wrestle and roll around and push her...basically nothing that Maggie wants. I really don't like to play referee, but I think I'm going to have to get over that. I think the key is getting inside Charlotte's head about why she behaves with way towards Maggie. I think she is seeking my attention when she does this so the best thing to do is separate them and engage her in rough play if that is what she needs.
So that's enough writing for me today. I need to rest some more and eat some more saltines.
Have a good day!
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