I am relaxing on my couch, kids are bathed, Art is giving Charlotte her nightly toast and milk before bed. Maggie is bfing while humming on my lap. Life is good.
A quote from the book that I think about alot is, "Everytime your kid acts out, it is a cry for help."
It sounds sort of dramatic, but I think Dr. Markham is right. It may not always be a cry, maybe sometimes a whine. They don't really know they need or are asking for help. But they feel wrong or terrible, maybe not heard, or not made a priority. Maybe they pick up on your stress or anger. They have big emotions and no tools to understand them...so they act out. I like to think in these terms because It comes from a place of love not fear. They are reaching out looking for their boundaries...looking to be loved. They are not "being bad", they have a need.
I need to listen to my kids, stay in tune with them. And if they do act out, hit the internal pause button, and figure out why before I try to discipline.
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