Tantrums!!! She would have them....and then I would follow with my own. Well the adult version of a tantrum...which is losing control of my emotions, getting really angry and yelling. Yes I cringe to think of my behavior now.
BUT....here is the important part...I decided I did not want to parent this way. This is actually not the first time I have decided this. I think the majority of the time I do a pretty good job being a parent. Whenever I feel like I am getting too angry or frustrated with my daughter Charlotte, then I'll spend an evening researching different parenting techniques. This always helps me refocus my efforts, and let go of my anger. I can then focus on helping my daughter grow and learn. A mantra I picked up from one of my researches that always helped me is "As a parent is not your job to control your child, it is your job to teach your child how to control themselves."
But this last episode reminded me again how important it is for me to remain a mindful, peaceful, parent. So I started reading Dr. Laura Markham's book Peaceful Parent, Happy Child, and I decided to keep a daily journal about my efforts to hold myself accountable. My goal is to stay committed to being a parent who makes decisions based consciously in love instead of in fear. I know that when I let all my fears take over, then I make bad decisions for my daughters. Their behavior actually gets worse too when I parent from fear. Fears such as: I am afraid if I don't discipline strictly now, then my daughter will grow up to be a spoiled brat or a drug addict.
Dr. Markham's book is one that I think I will need to re-read, and re-read. I will probably base alot of my entries on advice from her book and how it is helping me me the parent I want to be and my children happier, more confident and responsible people.
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