Day 7: Emotion dumping is not being authentic

I love this little section about being authentic because I have been worrying that if my kids never see me get upset,  then I am not honest with them.

"Wondering about you're being inauthentic?...Being authentic about the truth of your experience never requires you to "dump" them on someone else, unfiltered. As the Dalai Lama says, 'Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.' Besides, they're your feelings, and only part of the emotion is coming from this current interaction with your child."
-Dr. Markham Peaceful Parenting, Happy Child

I see in magazines, reality shows, songs, biographies, etc... people just want to reveal it all, dump everything they feel.  By many emotion dumping is praised as some sort of achievement.  It feels like emotional junk food.  This reminds me of a good rift from comedian Jim Gaffigan:

"I’m tired of people acting like they’re better than McDonald’s. It’s like you may have never set foot in McDonald’s, but you have your own McDonald’s. Maybe instead of buying a Big Mac, you read Us Weekly. Hey, that’s still McDonald’s. It’s just served up a little different. Maybe your McDonald’s is telling yourself that Starbucks Frappuccino is not a milkshake. Or maybe you watch “Glee.” It’s all McDonald’s—McDonald’s of the soul: Momentary pleasure followed by incredible guilt eventually leading to cancer. ‘I’m lovin’ it.’   "

I am guilty of it, as is probably everyone else. I understand the desire to just let it all out, dump all those ugly feelings on someone else.  But you feel like crap right afterwards and it takes you nowhere. You do not grow, you do not heal.  The hard work is taking those emotions and reflecting on them, and choosing constructive ways to use them in order to become a better person.
My dad always quoted his father, "Don't tell other people your problems. Half of them don't care, and the other half are glad you have them."  A lot of truth in that...but I would modify it slightly.  I do think everyone needs a support network and people to trust.  I had a friend in NYC share some wise words, "The problem isn't what you are telling people, it's who you are telling."
Part of growing up and being an adult is learning how to control your emotions, "emotional hygiene"as I've heard the idea described.

All this talk of controlling anger must remind you of The Empire Strikes Back too right??

"Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in the fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as did Obi-Wan's apprentice."
- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back
 http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000015/quotes

So I could keep writing, but I owe the dogs a long walk while Grandma Halina is out with the girls.
Have a good day!